


Cactus

by thekatthatbarks



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Modern AU, PTSD, Romance, psychiatrist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:53:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8550577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatthatbarks/pseuds/thekatthatbarks
Summary: Sakura is Kakashi's psychiatrist, but he asks her to switch to another doctor when he starts to become distant towards her. What had she done wrong?





	

Kakashi dragged his feet down the sidewalk. The small doctor’s office was in his sight now, nestled comfortably at the edge of town. He could read the smooth font on the sign, “ _Dr. Haruno’s Psychiatric Care_ ”. He glared at it, his heart contradicting his annoyance as it beat happily in his chest just a little faster than normal. He sighed, running a hand through his mess of silver hair, and remembered the voicemail from this morning.

_”Kakashi? This is Dr. Haruno,” the sweet voice had told him when he pressed play as if he hadn’t known. “You haven’t been coming in to your appointments the last couple of weeks. I was just beginning to worry since it’s unlike you. Are you alright? Please call me when you can and…I hope I see you today.”_

Kakashi internally groaned, throwing his head back and ignoring the odd looks he got from people on the street. _What was he supposed to tell her?_. Kakashi couldn’t come up with anything that didn’t sound like a complete lie. So, he shrugged and decided he’d do what he usually did. 

The door to the office rang when he pulled it open and the receptionist looked up. She didn’t hide any of her emotions and she sighed loudly, “Hatake-san! It’s about time! Dr. Haruno has been worried about you.”

Kakashi walked over to the blonde, “Ah, yes, hello, Ino-chan.”

Ino smiled brightly at him and raised an eyebrow towards the clock, “And you’re early for your appointment.”

Kakashi followed her eyes to the clock and scratched his head, “Oh, that is a little unusual, isn’t it?”

Ino snorted, “A little,” and looked down at the log book on her desk. Then, she picked up the phone, presumably to call Dr. Haruno.

“Hey, it’s – Yes, he just – Okay. Got it,” Ino finished the phone call, barely managing to even get a word in. She looked up at Kakashi with a grin, “She’s ready for you.”

Kakashi stepped away from the desk with an uneasy smile, “Thank you, Ino-chan.”

“Go get ‘em, tiger!” Ino called after him and he made the mistake of glancing back at her when she winked at him. Kakashi was just thankful they seemed to be the only ones in the office.

Kakashi knocked on the very familiar door and heard a second later, “Come in!”

Kakashi took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping into the office. He met Dr. Haruno’s eyes and she was smiling widely at him, looking like she wanted to get out of her chair and hug him. But she stayed professional and gestured to one of the chairs in front of her, “Kakashi, I’m so happy you came in today.”

Kakashi nodded at her and tried for a weak smile that she wouldn’t even see from behind his mask. He sat down in one of the chairs that he was always surprised to find were actually comfortable. From all of the doctor’s offices he’d been in, Dr. Haruno’s was the most comfortable. Her furniture wasn’t covered in leather, her employees weren’t overly friendly to the point where he knew they were just doing their job, and the atmosphere made him forget he was in a doctor’s office. _Sometimes_.

Dr. Haruno looked at him expectantly and he told her, “Well, my cousin’s best friend’s cat ran away and we’ve been scouring over the state looking for him and then –“

She cut him off with a sigh and looked down, “It’s okay, Kakashi. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

Kakashi nodded and was thankful that Dr. Haruno didn’t have a clipboard that she wrote everything down on. He knew she probably recorded everything after he left, but it was nice that she didn’t have it out while he was there. It always made the whole thing seem impersonal to him in his opinion.

“So,” Dr. Haruno cleared her throat and clasped her hands together in her lap, “How have you been?”

Kakashi leaned back into his chair and avoided the doctor’s eyes, “I’ve been fine. It’s been too cold to take the dogs for a walk, but Yamato came over the other day and brought his kids. So, they played with them.”

He looked back at Dr. Haruno and she was smiling warmly at him, “That must’ve been nice. How are Yamato and the kids, you haven’t mentioned him in a while?”

Kakashi looked away from her again and shrugged, “They’re good. When they came by, he brought me another plant.”

He heard Dr. Haruno laugh at the face he must’ve made and he glanced at her. She raised an eyebrow at him, “Have you already managed to kill this one too?”

Kakashi rolled his eyes at her, “No, it’s a _cactus_ so Yamato said this one might last.”

Dr. Haruno bit her lip with a chuckle and Kakashi’s eyes were drawn to the movement. She caught his eyes and Kakashi glanced away from her again towards the window. His neck felt hot underneath his scarf and he tugged at it.

“So, Kakashi,” Dr. Haruno spoke and when she didn’t go on, he looked back to her, “you’ve been seeing me for a year, but we’ve never discussed your mask? Do you want to try today?”

Kakashi’s hand subconsciously went to his face to touch the blue fabric that covered the bottom half of his face. He considered it, only for a moment, and then shook his head, “No.”

She looked slightly disappointed for a second, but didn’t let it show, “Well, then, how have you been sleeping?”

Kakashi shrugged, images flashing through his mind, “A few nightmares here and there, but I haven’t had a night terror in a few months.”

She nodded, “And what have you been dreaming about lately?”

Pink hair and green eyes danced behind his eyes, a melodic laugh ringing in his ears, but he ignored it all. She wanted to know about the bad ones, anyway. “Just the same.”

“About what happened on your last tour?” she asked for clarification.

Kakashi shifted in his chair and sighed, “Yes. About Obito and Rin.”

Kakashi had what Dr. Haruno called “ _survivor’s guilt_ ” from his last tour in the war. He could never tell her anything, some of it being confidential. But the long story short, his best friends had died while it should have been him. He came back mostly whole and they came back with folded up flags. 

When Kakashi didn’t say anything more, he watched Dr. Haruno stand up from her chair and walk over to the one closest to him. She sat down and when he looked at her in question, she asked him, “Kakashi, what’s wrong?”

Kakashi’s eyebrows pulled together, “What do you mean?”

She put a hand on his arm and Kakashi glanced down at it, but it was like she didn’t even know she had done it, “You’ve been so distant lately. The last couple of months and then, you didn’t even show up the last couple of weeks. You used to talk so much more.”

Kakashi met her eyes, feeling guilty when he saw a bit of sadness there, “I’m sorry, Dr. Haruno.”

She shook her head, “No, don’t be sorry. I just want to understand your change in behavior. Have I done something to make you feel too uncomfortable to talk anymore?”

Kakashi felt a pang in his chest at her words, “No.”

Dr. Haruno looked at him a loss for words and then down at her hand. It was like she just realized it was there and she pulled away from him. “Maybe…I’m just not helping you, Kakashi.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her, “You don’t think I’m making progress?” She had just said so herself a few weeks ago.

She continued, “Well, you have, but…”

Kakashi looked away from her, letting out a deep breath. “I should see someone else.”

“If you want to, Kakashi. It won’t…hurt my feelings, if you decide to. Your healing is the only thing that’s important here. So, if you feel like you want to try a different psychiatrist…” 

Dr. Haruno trailed off and when Kakashi looked back to her, she smiled at him. He couldn’t help it when he smiled back at her and it reminded him of why he had distanced himself from his doctor the past few months. He didn’t look at her when he said his next words, knowing he would hurt her feelings despite what she said, “I think I will try someone else then.”

Dr. Haruno got up from the chair and he looked over at her as she walked over to her desk. Her back was to him as she looked for something on her desk. She cleared her throat, “Well, uh, then, let me at least give you a recommendation. He’s a good friend of mine and actually has more experience with PTSD than I do.”

She turned around and handed him a piece of paper with the contact information of a _Dr. Uzumaki_ on it. He stood up from his chair and looked at her uncertainty, his heart rate beating in an odd rhythm. She put a hand on his arm and squeezed him lightly, “I hope Dr. Uzumaki can help you better than I did, Kakashi.”

Kakashi nodded at her, “Thank you, Dr. Haruno.”

He stepped away from her and towards the door. He opened it and looked back at the pink haired woman one last time. She smiled at him and told him, “Take good care of that cactus, Kakashi. It’ll last for a long time if you do.”

He smiled at her and waved with two fingers, “I will,” before walking out of her office.

 

Kakashi spent two months with Dr. Uzumaki, who actually insisted he call him _Naruto_. Kakashi had never had a doctor ask him to call him by his first name, but he went along with it as Naruto explained it helped build trust between the doctor and patient.

He liked Naruto, he supposed. The man was bubbly and always excited. Sometimes, Kakashi wondered how he could ever relate to patients who struggled with mental disorders. But Naruto slowly proved him wrong. He was more than Kakashi had pegged him to be and opened up with Kakashi about his own troubles. Another thing he said helped build trust. And it worked, as time went by Kakashi started feeling like he did with Dr. Haruno like he was visiting with a friend. Naruto didn’t use a clipboard either, but his furniture was didn’t compare to Dr. Haruno’s. Kakashi was also sure he wasn’t going to start having dreams about Naruto.

Kakashi was far from having a healthy mental state, far from getting over his PTSD, but he did feel like he was getting _better_. But it wasn’t necessarily Naruto’s doing. He had been _healing_ with Dr. Haruno like she had put it. It hadn’t had anything to do with her shortcomings as a psychiatrist that made him switch to Dr. Uzumaki.

He had _fallen in love_ with her. He hadn’t meant to, but he had. He didn’t tell her either, he knew he couldn’t even if he had wanted to. She would have been unsure of his feelings and told him something about how a lot of patients get attached to their therapists. But it wasn’t that. He _knew_ it hadn’t been as simple as that.

Even now lying comfortably on Naruto’s couch, he missed her. He missed her bubbly voice. The way she crinkled her nose sometimes when she smiled. How if he tried hard enough he could get her to snort while she was laughing. How distracting her hair was when it would fall out of her ponytail and she would twist the strand around her finger. Her green eyes bright and her pink lips always covered in lip gloss and plump.

“Kakashi?” Naruto called out to him and Kakashi realized he got caught up in his own thoughts.

He looked over at Dr. Uzumaki, “Yes?”

Naruto raised an eyebrow at him, “What’re you thinking about?”

Kakashi shrugged, moving to sit up on the couch, “Nothing.”

Naruto chuckled, leaning on his desk, “Mhm. You looked so sad and happy at the same time. You make that expression a lot. It has to be a girl.”

“No, I don’t,” Kakashi denied it.

Naruto acted like he hadn’t even argued it, “So, why does thinking about her make you sad? You stuck in rut? Haven’t called her? Even made a move on her?”

Kakashi cocked an eyebrow at him, “Isn’t this a little personal?”

Naruto snorted, “I’m your psychiatrist, nothing’s too personal. But if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine. I’ll never force you to talk about anything you don’t want to. I’d just rather you not deny it. When you at least admit it, it makes you feel more comfortable to talk about it. _Easier_.”

Kakashi met his eyes and leaned back into the couch, “There is a girl.”

Naruto nodded, trying not to seem too invested, “Okay.”

Kakashi didn’t know if he even wanted to go there, but apparently he did as the words left his mouth, “I never did anything about it.”

Naruto walked towards him and sat in the chair opposite of him, “Why not?”

Kakashi sighed and looked away from him, “It would have been…unprofessional.”

He heard Naruto chuckle and when he looked back him, the man had a small smile and told him, “She misses you, too.”

Kakashi opened his mouth to reply, his eyes going a little wide, “Uh, I don’t think –“

Naruto interrupted him with a grin, “Sakura, right?”

_Sakura_. The name sounded so sweet to him, so much warmer than _Dr. Haruno_. Kakashi didn’t answer him, running his fingers nervously through his hair.

“It’s alright, Kakashi,” Naruto told him, his eyes serious, “You can tell me anything. Even if it’s about Sakura, I still wouldn’t tell her anything. I take patient confidentiality seriously.”

Kakashi sighed and asked him, “What do you mean she misses me too?”

Naruto waved his hand towards Kakashi, “She asks about you all the time. Not anything I can’t tell her. She just wants to know how you’re doing, if you’re getting along well with me. Which I tell her, yes, I hope I wasn’t lying.”

Kakashi chuckled with a nod, “You weren't, Naruto.”

Naruto grinned, “Good.”

Kakashi was quiet for a moment and then spoke, “You seem very close with her.”

“ _Just_ friends, Kakashi,” Naruto met his eyes, making sure he understood, “Sakura-chan and I have just been through a lot together.”

Kakashi nodded, not pushing it any further. He didn’t ask anything more about Dr. Haruno, about _Sakura_. And proceeded to tell Naruto about how he had coped with the fireworks that had gone off for New Years.

They didn’t broach the topic of Sakura again, until February. Kakashi had been about to leave Naruto’s office, when Naruto told him nonchalantly, “She doesn’t have anyone for Valentine’s Day.”

Kakashi knew exactly who he was talking about. It wasn’t like he had ever talked about any other women. But Kakashi didn’t make any comment beyond, “I’ll see you next week, Naruto.”

 

Kakashi walked down the street his heart trying its best to beat out of his chest. He couldn’t decide on a pace, excitement wanting his to walk faster and nerves dragging his feet trying to cement them to the sidewalk. But he eventually reached the small clinic, for the first time in three months. 

It felt like forever since he had been there, but nothing had changed. The bell on the door still rang when he opened it. The scent of flowers that he had never figured out where it came from was still there. And Ino was still smiling brightly at the reception’s desk.

She called out, “Welcome to Dr. Haruno’s. I’ll be with you in a moment,” without looking up from the papers at her desk. Kakashi walked over to her and leaned casually against the counter. When she finally looked up at him, her jaw dropped slightly and her eyes went wide, “Hatake-san!”

Kakashi smiled at her, “Ino-chan. I know I don’t have an appointment, but if she’s not busy…”

Ino stared at him blankly for a second, before nodding, “Oh, yes. She’s not seeing anyone at the moment. Just go on in.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her, glancing at the phone, “You don’t want to tell her I’m here?”

Ino shook her head with a cheeky grin, “No, this is so much better.”

Kakashi eyed her curiously, before nodding and walking towards Dr. Haruno’s office. He paused at her door, taking a few breaths before knocking on the wood. Like always, she called in her sweet voice, “Come in!”

Kakashi turned the door knob, hearing his heart pounding in his ears. When he opened the door, Sakura glanced at him as she was writing something. When she saw it was him, her pen clattered to her desk and she stuttered, surprise evident on her face, “K-Kakashi?”

Kakashi smiled at her nervously, “Hello, Dr. Haruno.”

She smiled back at him, but when she didn’t say anything right away, Kakashi gestured to the door, “Are you busy? I could come back later.”

Sakura stood up from her chair when he took a step back towards the door, “No!”

Kakashi looked at her surprised and Sakura’s face tinted pink. She cleared her throat, “I mean, uh, you don’t have to go. I’m not busy.”

Kakashi fought back a chuckle at her obvious blush. _Maybe it wasn’t as long of a shot as he thought._ Sakura leaned back against her desk and smiled at him, “So, what brings you by?” Before he could reply, she frowned, “Is everything okay with Nar – Dr. Uzumaki?”

Kakashi waved his hand dismissively, “No, everything’s fine with Naruto.” 

Sakura looked down at his hand, just noticing what he had there. She chuckled with a raised eyebrow, “Is that the cactus Yamato gave you?”

Kakashi stepped more towards her, swallowing down the lump in his throat, “Yeah, it is.”

He was just a foot away from her and Sakura asked him, “What’re you carrying it around for?”

Kakashi held it out to her and met her eyes, “I actually wanted to give it to you.”

Sakura took it from his outstretched hands, her eyebrows pulling together, “Me? Why?”

“You said that if I took good care of it, then it would last,” Kakashi told her with a shaky breath. 

But Sakura still looked confused and she laughed softly, “Kakashi, what’re you trying to say?”

“Can I take you out Friday night?” Kakashi asked her, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.

Sakura looked up at him with wide eyes and said simply, “Friday’s Valentine’s Day.”

Kakashi nodded with a smile, “It is.”

Sakura looked down at the cactus in her hands and told him in a quiet voice, “I don’t understand. You quit being my patient. I thought you didn’t…that you found out how I felt about you and –“

Kakashi interrupted her, grabbing one of her hands in his, “I fell in love with you and I – I don’t know, I got scared and ran away. I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way, especially after seeing how much of a mess I am.”

Sakura met his eyes with a beautiful smile, turning her hand over in his, “I did see how much of a mess you are, Kakashi.”

Kakashi felt a pang of disappointment and prepared for her to pull away from him, but she continued, “And I love that part of you, too.”

Kakashi’s shoulders sagged in relief and Sakura placed the potted plant on the edge of her desk. Her hands reached for his mask and she looked at him in question. When he nodded, she gently tugged the mask off of his ear to where it only dangled from one. Her hands held his face and her eyes looked over every inch of his face. He smiled at her and she shook her head with a chuckle, “Figures.”

“Figures what –“ Kakashi began to ask her, but she cut him off when her lips pressed against his. He kissed her back his arm wrapping around her waist to pull her closer and his other hand holding the back of her head. He could taste the lip gloss that she always wore and he wasn’t surprised that it tasted like strawberry.

When she pulled away from him, he asked her, “So, is that a yes?”

Sakura laughed and nodded, “Yes, just don’t call me Dr. Haruno ever again.”

Kakashi nodded and kissed her once more on the lips. She smiled against him and asked, “So, what does the cactus mean?”

Kakashi met her eyes and told her, “If I take good care of this, it will last, too. Won’t it?”

Sakura’s smile widened and her arms wrapped around his neck. She brought him closer to her and answered, “Yes.”


End file.
